Tag archieven: trans

Speech at Dyke March Amsterdam 2024

Hello dykes of all genders 🙂

I am very happy being in the Amsterdam Dyke March again. And even having been asked to address you about last Thursdays anti-trans youth health care conference at Amsterdam Free University and its context. My affiliation for today is with TransZorgNu coalition.

A couple of very wealthy old white cisgender heterophiliac [cishet in short] men including the Vatican are behind this wave of cishet normativity. Spending all their money on destroying our world by fighting climate deals, supporting Israel to destroy Palestine, the destruction of Congo for cheap minerals. And the destruction of our our protections, our rights and our livelihoods just because it doesn´t serve their fucking reactionary WASP beliefs and interests..

When you read the media you may think things aren’t that bad, it is good science to have everybody in scientific research about the effects of medical transitional support. The thing is: not when it is a form of blackmail: either you join the research or you won´t be able to get your health care. That is not granting someone their right to health care. Again that is blackmail. But it is the proposal for the UK and it is standing practice at Amsterdam University Medical Centre here in Amsterdam.

vreer in e pink shirt and ligth hat end traousers reading their speech at the Homomonument in Amsterdam
Then there is – not strongly here in the Netherlands yet, but they are trying – the very problematic concept the pseudoscientists are plugging. At that conference and elsewhere. Hilary Cass of the UK? infamous Cass Review that ditched some 90% of valid research in favour of a few that would be high quality. But everything she called substandard was positive for trans people. And the minister of public Health of the UK issued an order – an hour before the closing of the last health care committee debate before election closure of Parliament — that practically all trans kids are to be bereft of their hormone blockers prescriptions. Officially only in the private sector, but the NHS is practically dead in this respect. So a so-called scientific evaluation report that was called out of issues with the only trans youth clinic in London, led to a more or less total closure of health care for trans youth. No new patients allowed. Unless for ¨evaluation¨, which equals conversion therapy. England is a hellhole for trans youth these days.

Then this conference by the centre for family law also had the Wicked Witch of the North. Sorry for the true witches here 🙂 Riitakerttu Kaltiala is a doctor from Tampere Finland who does everything in her capabilities to take care that your child will not get trans health care. She is said to even call child protection service if you go to another team instead of her hostile team.
And then we have Chris Verhaak from the Nijmegen gender team, her in the country. A child psychologist who believes in the crap that goes with the ludicrous and scientifically torpedoed conspiracy theory of Rapid Onset of Gender Dysphoria. This absurd idea entails that trans people, and mostly “girls” are the victim of a social contagion. They tell each other through memes and videos how cool it is to be transgender.

Adhering parents hide under the flag of “4th wave now” 4th wave of white feminism they mean. And these parents are the ones dr Litmann who came with the idea of this Rapid Onset of gender dysphoria, got her affirming answers from.

The shitstorm we are in started eight to ten years ago in the USA where now hundreds of anti-trans bills are being proposed to the State Houses. And from 2020 the UK Tories started to create their own shitstorm. And now we will have an extreme rightwing government with real fascists here in the Netherlands. With an anti-trans agenda. An anti-queer agenda. And a racist agenda, and ableist of course.

That is why TransZorgNu called for a protest at the conference.We were some hundred people who joined the last minute protest. We made it very clear that we want self determination, not control. Our bodies, our choices. As trans people form different generations and as parents of trans kids and as allies and accomplices, we made noise, held speeches and promised to look after each other.

That conference is a great justification for the upcoming government to curtail budgets for trans health care. As good fascists they first aim for the most vulnerable ones. The undocumented people, the young queer and trans people, people with disabilities and chronic illnesses, the sex workers. All our siblings. For us, because we are not only standing in solidarity. We are those black and people of colour, sex workers, queers, young trans people, people with disabilities. That is why dykes need to be revolutionary, We have had years of relative calm and progressive policies for some. But others – our black and brown siblings and children have always faced racism and sexism and other evil. We stand for trans rights, for dyke rights. In my opinion we need to fight for equity and justice, for all of us. So we can all fuck and frolick around. Down with the default of the monogamous nuclear family. Down with compulsory hetrosexuality and compulsory cisness. And down with Israel and the USA. Up with Palestine. Up with queerness. Up with free consensual love and sex.

We stand for love and passion in any consensual form and do not accept when society tries to force us back in a closet. We will not have it. Not on our watch.
Aluta continua! No pasarán!

Once upon a time

I had the honour to kick off the speeches of Athens Pride 2023 this June 10th on Kotzia square, Athens. I had been invited to do so by Proud Seniors Greece, of which group I am an honorary member.

The original Pride video is also about Once upon a time. In a Cinderella themed short, she runs through the streets, loses a pump, and tells “in my reality we have to run to survive” . More people join running and say : “We take to the streets to be called by my proper name, to love in freedom, to be truly accepted, so that my family truly accepts me, so I can live in safety, to survive. So that we can say one day: I fought and I won.”

I interpreted the images of people running with TL lamps flickering as a metro station, also because they talk about going and the 12 o’clock reference. No coach these days, must be a metro. Slightly beyond the story, but hey: artistic creativity 😉

Once upon a time .. Cinderella almost missed her train back to the future because some ridiculous cis guys were bothering her thinking they had a right to harass her. Once upon a time Cinderella was fighting the fucking cops in Exarchia because they murdered Zackie Oh.

Hello Athens Pride

I am so happy that we are here.

With so many.

In all our colours, in all our sexes,

in all our genders, in all our sexualities

And in all our gender expressions.

Demanding and celebrating.

Celebrating that we still exist.

Demanding justice for all who are attacked or killed.

Demanding accountability from the state. From the church.

From the population.

Because we have rights.

I am vreer. I represent Proud Seniors Greece.

I also represent Transgender Europe, the European and Central Asian Trans peoples Rights Organisation. Transgender Europe is a network of organisations of trans and non binary and gender diverse people. We fight in the international political theater.

Al over the world trans people are in a very bad situation. In many places we hardly have any recognition. In many places we cannot live our true lives.

Thanks to the religious right and to stinking rich bastards, states try to push us back. They want to go back to a past that has never existed. They attack on all fronts with the speed of light.

In Greece trans people are practically without rights. We get beaten up and we are hated by many people. We are not understood and we are hated even more as non-binary and gender diverse people..

When you are both queer and older, that poses a lot of other issues. Many of us are afraid we have to go back into the closet when we are old. Will be treated badly, be forgotten by our straight cis families. Here I want to ask Athens Pride organisation: why are there only young people in your campaign ? Include older people! We have been fighting for the rights you now have. And we are part of the community anyway. Or do we only count if we are considered fuckable? If you only knew …

We are here to demand our rights. It should not matter which government is in power. Also prime minister Mitsotakis has to obey international treaties. Rights Are Rights and rights apply to everybody. Greece has subscribed to many European and international treaties, but it costs ship loads of energy to get any equality as trans, non-binary and gender diverse people.

(Instead of banning Pride from Syntagma square because of their fucking kiosk, ND better had guaranteed our rights. Not we need to change squares! They do! We should have just surrounded that fucking blue kiosque)

Once upon a time Cinderella almost missed the train to the future. She lost her shoe because she had to fight off some cis guys who thought they had a right to her body. Once upon a time Cinderella was fighting the fucking cops in Exarchia because they murdered Zackie Oh.

We need to fight together and that means that the well-off among you have to support the sex workers, the migrants and refugees, the trans, non-binary and gender diverse people.

Once upon a time we will be recognised as who we are, the most despised, the undocumented refugee and the sex worker will be the first to mount the train towards that future. Other trans and non-binary people will follow directly.

Pride was always a protest. And these big donors are not our friends. These days we should hold large marches full of anger, and build power together. Organise a queer strike: I can’t come to work today, I’m queer! Fuck this capitalist shit

We need queer joy as an answer. Living our lives to the fullest that we can, flouting the straights embarrassment, is the best/sweetest revenge.You can try to cut all the flowers. But you cannot detain Spring.

Once upon a time is NOW.

Fighting the anti-gender movement with academic feminists

On April 19, 2023 I gave a reflection on an elaborate written introduction to the theory group of the CCINDLE project. The abbreviation stands for “Co-Creating Inclusive Intersectional Democratic Spaces Across Europe”. The project aims to contribute to the strengthening and re-invigorating of intersectional feminism and European democracies through theoretical and practical feminist theories, coalitions, and strategies. It assumes that feminist theories and activism are vital and essential sources of resisting anti-gender discourses and undemocratic politics, and to re-kindling citizens’ engagement with democratic institutions and values. They recognize that the increasing challenges posed to European democracies and the escalating dynamics of anti-gender, homophobic and xenophobic mobilizations require a combination of excellent academic research and well-informed practical solutions which: a) are clearly feminist, anti-homophobic and anti-racist, b) could efficiently support high quality democratic governance, c) may strengthen responses to authoritarian and anti-gender efforts.

So when project leader prof. Mieke Verloo invited m to speak – as a valued activist, I didn’t hesitate and wrote (and spoke) the following.

Good afternoon everyone.

Logo of the Ccindle (pronounced "Co cindle) project

I want to thank the organisers for inviting me and granting me the opportunity to reflect on the CCINDLE project and the statement of the project at hand. The project couldn’t be timelier with the anti-gender movement winning state by state in the USA and also getting stronger every time here in Europe. My reflection will be a personal one, as I have been invited as an activist. I still read my share of academic work, one or two articles a week; I used to read chunks of monographs and dissertations over lunch and dinner, but I have left that habit. This just serves to show I am not ‘just’ a street activist, I once aspired to be a rogue scholar [emphasis on rogue] 😉 Part from founding several trans groups, organisations and some board memberships, I do research into What constitutes good trans health care.

I want to thank the WP1 [Work Package; many projects are chopped up in sub-projects these days] preparation group for their elaborate document that I will use to reflect on. In the panel I will pay more attention to some questions posed to the panellists.

I will give a more personal political story (an oxymoron in a sense, as the personal is always political and vice versa). I am from the days that in Europe transgender meant someone who was uncomfortable with the mainstream medical, social and legal approach that a trans person had to change their body “as far as possible”. It was a rare phenomenon in the early nineties, but got more attention every year. It was a typical normalisation process with an aim of acceptance for both the medical interventions and the people undergoing them because of their gender identity issues.

For lack of better words, I used to consider myself a lesbian transsexual. Never a woman, as a woman was submissive according to Monique Wittig. Only with the reading of Kate Bornstein’s “Gender Outlaw” did I get a first glimpse of what was possible. Soon after I discovered Sandy Stone’s “The Empire Strikes Back, a Posttranssexual manifesto”. This manifesto was a reaction by Sandy Stone on Janice Raymond’s “The Transsexual Empire, the making of the she-male.” Raymond is the transphobic goddess that the author of Harry Potter prays to. They may even be friends. Raymond – Godmother of TERF – was responsible for the closing of many “experimental” trans clinics in the USA in the 1980s. Raymonds denials of her influence on this are decently dissected by Cristan Williams on transadvocate.com. The O.T., Original Terf, doubles down on her terfiness in her most recent book “Doublethink” that saw the light end 2021, and of course works with social contagion and “Rapid Onset of Gender Dysphoria”. Those stories haunt me in my nightmares and nowadays during the days too. So I am pretty familiar with all the rhetoric of the anti gender movement.

Title and author of the text on a whote page with a drawing of men in rococo clothing studying the legs of a statue

The Empire strikes back: a Posttransexual manifesto

I am one of the first trans political activists in the Netherlands, as someone who politicised being trans. In the early 1980s we had a group of trans women petitioning the government for a real regulation for legal gender recognition, and they were very brave for accepting to be interviewed on TV news, while everyone had their medical assistance abroad, mostly in Casablanca, later USA or Thailand. Some found a decent surgeon in Germany but everything was quite complicated in the days before legal gender change was really possible. Before the 1985 law trans people depended on judges accepting an “Oops, different sex development” argumentation from doctors, as we were mostly using legislation meant for intersex people whose sex development turned out differently than expected from a passing glance at the baby’s genitals.

Having started in the trans inclusive lesbian scene of Amsterdam early 1990s and thanks to the starting public and then still web-less internet with its Usenet discussion groups, many of the contemporary “discussions” are old to me. Only Rapid Onset Of Gender Dysphoria is a new kid on the block, but actually just a cloning of the age old adage “But Ze Childrenz!” that we know from the homophobic conservatives, secular and religious.

Simpsons styled meme "WOn't somebody please think of the children"

One of the ideologies and political practices this work package of CCINDLE looks at, is fascism. To that I want to add something I very recently found out thanks to someone bringing it to my attention on social media.
In the wake of ISIS genocides in Iraq, an enormous grassroots interest in ending the cycle of violence and promoting a lasting peace, became visible. For the Iraq Project for Genocide Prevention and Accountability that was the reason to change their name to Lemkin Institute for Genocide Prevention. Among their projects is an Ukraine project, one on Somaliland, on Iraq, Arenia. But also a Transphobia project. That must have been a reason for them to issue their November 29. 2022 statement equating the “gender critical” movement in the USA with a fascist movement with genocidal intentions. The institute is not affiliated with big human rights players as Amnesty or HRW, not cooperating with the UN, but they work form a clear vision of the intention of Rafal Lemkin’s work on the Genocide Convention.

I give you two quotes

The Lemkin Institute believes that the so-called “gender critical movement” that is behind these laws is a fascist movement furthering a specifically genocidal ideology that seeks the complete eradication of trans identity from the world.”

And

While members of the gender critical movement may argue that they do not seek to kill the physical bodies of transgender people, they do openly seek to eradicate transgender identity from the world, following a genocidal logic similar to the US, Canadian, and Australian boarding schools that sought to “kill the Indian, [and] save the man.”

So I think it is pretty clear what kind of a danger we are dealing with here. For trans people and anyone not conforming to the WASP ideal. And that means we have a bigger fight than ”just” the anti gender movement to engage with. That is visible in the fact that those who try to whip up the masses to speak out against gender non-conformity in any form, also against drag queens like last Sunday in Rotterdam, are indeed plain fascists. And TERFs are the National Socialist Women’s Movement.

I put an emphasis on this because I think it does help. If we reason with the comparison of roughly a hundred years ago, we may see some developments clearer. Though we should not fall in the trap of seeing it as history repeating itself. Fascism was always already very gender reactionary. Of course we must look further and deeper, as the passing of time and this new iteration of never really defeated fascism can highlight hitherto less invisible tendencies. Also, we should ot stop by highlighting its ugly racist and sexist face, it is a whole restructuration for a mega profit capitalist 0.00001%. Not in a mechanistic way of course. That ias the surplus value of this CCINDLE project to do feminist knowledge and strategy production on this.

I often feel like the old woman of the memes saying “I can’t believe we have to fight this shit again”. That has everything to do with the current day capitalist crisis – weirdly enough I find the word capitalism only once in the statement where it is the main protagonist of the whole shit we are going through.

The only way out of this gendercide crisis that we are in, is to fight for a human and planetary rights solution, for queer, feminist, antiracist, anti ableist luxury space communism. I sincerely hope this CCINDLE project will be able to develop tools to effectively battle the gender fascists and related capitalist fellow traveller ilk like Tories everywhere.

Aluta continua,
Adalet, özgürlük, ekmek.
Hasta la victoria siempre.

Thank you

(19-4-2023, Amsterdam. CC v4.0, vreer)

Look back in anger

Niet dat er niks moois valt te melden. Overal in de wereld is maatschappelijke (niet alleen sociale!) strijd verhevigd. En in mijn persoonlijke leven gaat het ook aardig. Maar de heersende klasse maakt er wel een zooitje van. En eerder meer dan minder.

Veel mensen kijken terug naar het laatste decennium, laat ik daar ook een paar dingen uit pikken. Het is een persoonlijk blog tenslotte. Het afgelopen decennium ben ik echt actief geworden met trans* advocacy op meer dan lokaal niveau. TNN (Transgender Netwerk Nederland) startte als netwerk wel al in 2006 maar als organisatie startte het in 2009 en t/m 2011 ben ik daar werkzaam geweest met opzetten van de organisatie, bekend maken wat de betekenis van trans* is en dat de cis wereld moet veranderen. Dankzij hen zitten wij in de problemen dus “move over, cissies”. Maar dan beleefder dus 😉 In dezelfde periode Vanaf 2012 ben ik bij TGEU (Transgender Europe) actief geworden als bestuurslid. Na korte pauze ben ik weer terug op de brug daar om wat liefde en kundigheid te strooien.

Zorgen

Vechten voor trans* zorg gebaseerd op mensenrechten, heeft dankzij het werk van Principle 17 ook voor meer scherpte en bewustzijn in het debat en onder de zorgvragers gezorgd. Tien jaar geleden was er nog stevig debat over de vraag of een ‘keuringspsycholoog’ nodig was om medische in transitie te kunnen gaan (dat antwoord was toen eigenlijk al “Nee”, maar men voelde een te grote afhankelijkheid van de officiële infra).

En diezelfde medische mainstream is overigens nauwelijks opgeschoven. Men luistert alleen naar mensen die in een medische instelling werken. Een bestuurder van Callen Lorde kliniek in New York, die veel succes heeft zonder poortwachters, is de eerste die echt gehoord is. Want Belangrijke pet, en niet direct leesbaar als rebel. Uiteraard is er meer dan tien jaar nodig om een van de meest arrogante lagen van de samenleving te veranderen, als helpt en officiële “invechtcultuur” niet echt in respect voor de zorgvragers.

Photo of a trans* woman meting h doctor in the waiting room of the doctors office

Intussen heb ik nog wat ‘gehobbyd’ met Vreerwerk, een poging om een beetje inkomen te verzamelen middels het geven van mensenrechteneducatie met een focus op (LGB)TI. He was en boeiende leerschool, volgens het principe: wees je studenten in elk geval een stap voor en de beste manier om iets te leren is het uit te leggen. Maar ja, geen schijntje van een “markt”.

BIJ1

En midden in het mij afvragen hoe nu verder, komt voor de Tweede Kamerverkiezingen er plotseling een partij die zich Artikel 1 noemt geleid door de inmiddels onontkoombare en n steeds ongelooflijke Sylvana Simons. Toen ik de lijst zag en hoorde hoe die was samengesteld, heb ik mij laten meeslepen, ben ik aangehaakt. Praktisch op de verkiezingsavond, dankzij de wonderbaarlijke Olave Nduwanje (ook zo’n mooie ontdekking van het decennium dat bijna achter ons ligt). Afdeling opzetten, campagne draaien, en meteen aan de bak moeten wanneer blijkt dat we en zetel hebben binnengesleept. Roerig, zeer roerig mag ik wel zeggen. En slopend. Maar we zijn er en we behalen prachtige resultaten.

BIJ1 wenst iedrreen fijne frestdagen

In de politiek is mijn plaats vooral die van Sylvana-fluisteraar, dienstbaar ondersteuner van mijn raadslid. Wat zij in de raad zegt komt, vooral over de zo belangrijke en ondergewaardeerde economische kant van het politiek werk, grotendeels uit mijn brein en mijn pen. Mijn en onze idealen strekken mijlen, zo niet planeten verder dan wat we kunnen adresseren op dit micro-niveau. Voor dat ene zeteltje dat we hebben als BIJ1, in de Amsterdamse gemeenteraad zijn we aardig invloedrijk. Gelukkig maar. We hebben ook wel enige politieke rugwind doordat GroenLinks Amsterdam veel linkser is dan landelijk, dat zich met arme Jesse Klaver moet behelpen. Iemand die het Links van GroenLinks nooit heeft begrepen (net als de burgemeester van Amsterdam, Femke Halsema, die in de Kamer haar uiterste heeft gedaan om de partij tot een progressief liberale club om te smeden). Dat je je met Klaver c.s. moet behelpen … te triest. Zo progressief als het college in Amsterdam is, hebben we nog nooit in de regering gehad. Dat zegt meer over Den Haag dan over Amsterdam overigens. Het blijven liberalen anyway. Al zie ik sommige GroenLinksers misschien nog wel eens oversteken naar onze kant.

Met mijn maatjes in de fractie ga ik natuurlijk vrolijk en keihard door met een mooier Amsterdam te realiseren waarin ieders basisbehoeften in de piramide van Maslow gedekt zijn voor zover we dat als stad kunnen realiseren. Mijn eerste daad was ook een (bijna gretige) wethouder naar Den Haag te sturen om te vechten voor Amsterdamse transzorg buiten het VUmc om. En we zitten Rutger Groot Wassink, de wethouder Sociale Zaken op z’n huid om de opvang voor ongedocumenteerden verder te verbeteren zodat er geen mens buiten hoeft te slapen en we taferelen als met de “Mandela kids” in een Bijlmer parkeergarage met slechts één muur kunnen voorkomen. Dat de burgemeester mede voor deze groep kraken wil bemoeilijken, helpt niet echt.

Resultaten

Ik geloof dat ik niet kan zeggen dat ik zelf recentelijk veel heb binnengehaald. ADM is ontruimd begin 2019 (25 december een jaar geleden was Last Christmas at ADM), de Lutkemeerpolder is nog steeds erg bedreigd en op raadsniveau kunnen we daar niet veel mee momenteel. Ook is de inzet van het college nog steeds het Afval Energie Bedrijf op te splitsen en te verkopen. Iets wat me razend maakt, zeker nu ze weer vrijwel positieve cijfers draaien. Het klinkt er ook niet naar dat de directie strak aangelijnd blijft. Als dat doorgaat moet natuurlijk alle geld dat we erin heen gestoken terug komen van de markt. Maar ons doel is eerder er een lokale afval-, en kringloop-coöperatie van te maken. En voor wat we verder als Amsterdam BIJ1-fractie voor elkaar hebben gekregen, check daarvoor onze site of sociale media.

Intermezzo

Voor wie hier een groots en meeslepend overzicht van zielenroerselen verwacht te zien, dan moet je me voor een avondje drinken uitnodigen. De Partij is nu mijn leven 😀
Er zijn best een paar nieuwe en hele mooie mensen in mijn leven gekomen, maar ik ga het internet daar verder niets over wijs maken. Ik houd de schijn dat internet niet alles van mij weet graag op;)

invloed

Gelukkig heb ik ideologisch wel aardige invloed en onze principiële stellingname leidt dan af en toe ook tot reacties van collega’s die aangeven dat er eigenlijk geen speld tussen te krijgen valt. En zo is dat. Nou nog meestemmen. In plaats van je eigen rammelgedachten en wanbeleid te steunen. Maar nee, collegedwang of koppigheid. En nee, andersom gaan wij nooit met rechts meestemmen want hun ideeën en context is fout. Ook al lijkt het mooi: als de vos de passie preekt, boer pas op je kippen. En dat doen wij dan ook. Al is niet iedereen bij ons vegan.

Buiten de stadspolitiek ben ik bezig me een aantal grote opruimingen en schoonmaken. Ik zit in een paar organisaties in het bestuur waar het nodige aan (her)structurering, diepe schoonmaak en meer nodig is. Op alle vlakken. Het leuke eraan is dat ik me even wat minder met policy, beleid hoef bezig te houden. Nergens is het afwezig, alleen de focus ligt op deep cleaning. En dat lijk ik wel leuk te vinden. Orde op zaken stellen, de rot wegsnijden, schoonmaken, dichtschroeien, revalideren en door. Als de schone plek nog wat bewaking nodig heeft, blijf ik misschien nog even nagenieten en mentor spelen, maar daarna geven we het (voorzichtig) weer door.

Verzet

Het mooie aan een wereld die in verzet komt tegen onrecht, uitbuiting en totale ondergang, is dat overal verzet te bespeuren valt. In september explodeerde Chili voor het oog van de wereld. Niet als eerste, want in Haïti dat veel langer arm wordt gehouden (als straf oor de eerste geslaagde dekolonisatie in 1804) was de strijd al eerder losgebarsten. Maar wel met als reden niet 30 cent aan prijsverhoging voor een metrokaartje in Santiago, maar 30 jaar na het vertrek van dictator Pinochet en 40 jaar aan neoliberalisme. Chileense studenten springen over de metropoortjes

Als proeftuin voor het neoliberale systeem zoals dat in navolging van premier Thatcher van Engeland (1979-1990) en president Reagan van de VS (1980-1988) overal is doorgevoerd, is in Chili de tegenstelling tussen arm en rijk heel groot. En daarmee is de heftigheid van het protest goed te verklaren. Plus de jarenlange onderdrukking van de inheemse Mapuche die alleen onder Allende even konden opademen. Als resultaat van de strijd zie je de weñufe zoals de vlag in het Mapundungu heet, nu overal. En op steeds meer plaatsen worden taalcursussen Mapundungu aangeboden. En de feministische performance “Un violador en tu camino” (een verkrachter op je weg) geeft op wereldschaal aan hoezeer vrouwen nog steeds moeten vechten voor hun basisrecht om ongehinderd en zonder lastig gevallen te worden over straat te gaan, te kunnen leven.

De strijd die we nu wereldwijd zien is strijd tegen het Teveel, tegen vernietiging en voor overleven van de mensheid en onze leefwereld. Voor wie het wil zien, is duidelijk dat het kapitalistische systeem in overdrive is, een Holle Bolle Gijs die om meer, meer, meer blijft roepen terwijl ie al groen zie van indigestie , van oververzadiging. Maar het systeem is geen rationeel wezen, het is een mechanisme dat te allen tijde nieuwe afzetmarkten zoekt en altijd meer geld moet genereren. Dagobert Duck tot de negende macht. En dus komen mensen in verzet.

Laat je niet in de luren leggen. Verzet is links. Verzet eist vooruitgang voor iedereen die in een slecht schuitje zit. En als het niet links is, is het geen verzet maar krampachtige spasmen van notoire gelijkhebbers die hun ruimte nu moeten delen met anderen. Giftige oprispingen van boze bankiers en presidenten. En het vuur: dat is de aarde en haar bewoners die het niet meer aankunnen. Duindorp is giftige witte mannelijkheid, Parijs, Barcelona, Haiti, Chili, dat is Verzet. ook XR is slecht, hoe brak ook. Code Rood en Hambi Bleibt is verzet. Verzet poogt de macht te doen luisteren en alternatieven te stellen. En anders: burn da motherfucker down.

“Y la culpa no era mia
Ni donde estaba
ni como vestía
El violador eres tú!”

Fruitsalade en gender

Jarenlang heb ik gedacht dat ik gewoon naief was over m’n eigen gender, dat ik vooral een zoeker was en pas ergens rond m’n dertigste er een kwartje viel en ik het flipperspel begreep. Een aantal gebeurtenissen hebben me langzamerhand op andere gedachten gebracht en doen mij mezelf beter begrijpen. Eén van deze gebeurtenissen was tijdens de WPATH conferentie in Amsterdam op een (afgeladen) minisymposium over vragen rond sociale transitie van genderexpansieve kinderen.

Geleerden, ouders en volksmenners breken hun hoofd over die vraag. Ik kan me dat van de ouders nog het beste voorstellen. Je verwacht dat de gendertoewijzing van je kind klopt. Als je kind als van het mannelijk geslacht te boek staat, het zich ook als jongen en later man (wat voor dan ook) zal ontwikkelen.

In die workshop sprak men over appels, peren en fruitsalade. Sommige zaken zijn helder, je hebt appels en je hebt peren. Die zijn verschillend en behandel je verschillend. De appels in kwestie zijn transkinderen, die heel duidelijk maken dat ze Anders zijn, en dat het om Zijn gaat, niet alleen om Doen. En je hebt peren waarbij het meer om het andere Doen gaat, om de genderexpressie. Die niet perse zich niet een meisje maar een jongen voelen (of v.v.) En dan heb je nog de fruitsalade waar alles door elkaar ligt en vooral duidelijk is dat het niet eenduidig is. Ik ben eigenlijk altijd al fruitsalade geweest, al heb ik m’n appelfase gehad als volwassene. Als kind en jongere was ik gewoon niet fruitbewust. Fruit was moeilijk.

De presentaties gingen vooral om de vraag wanneer laat zo’n kind nou in sociale transtie gaan. Voor wie is sociale transitie de oplossing? Grofweg zeggen de presentatoren: als duidelijk is dat het om Zijn gaat, om identiteit (en er niet eigenlijk iets anders speelt) laat je ze vooral hun gang gaan en al dan niet geleidelijk van rol veranderen wanneer ze dat willen. En dat willen ze vast al, anders waren de problemen niet zo groot. Dat zijn de appels. Dan heb je de peren die vooral niet blij zijn met de standaard genderexpressie die van hen verwacht wordt, die tegen de verwachtingen in in prinsessenjurken willen lopen (met of zonder rouwdouwgedrag), of die juist vooral alleen stoere broeken en schoenen en kort haar willen. Sommigen van hen ontwikkelen zich later tot appel, sommigen blijven vooral eigenzinnig in hun gendergedrag, en anderen komen in de fruitsalade terecht. Want die fruitsalade, daar zit van alles in. Die fruitsalades vragen vooral creativiteit van de de volwassenen. Ze kunnen OK zijn met het gender op hun geboortebewijs maar dat op een geheel eigen manier interpreteren. Ze kunnen al vroeg genderqueer, agender of pangender zijn. En er is geen enkel bewijs dat degenen die heen en weer gaan tussen genders er slechter aan toe zijn dan wie een eenduidige keuze maakt. Als je ze maar steunt in hun ontwikkeling. Als ze een andere keuze maken, of zelfs als ze verdwalen in het genderweb, hebben ze steun nodig, hulp om zichzelf beter te begrijpen, hun keuze te maken. Niet om in het keurslijf terug te komen. Maar om hun eigen weg te vinden.

Voor volwassenen en adolescenten is daar aardig wat materiaal en discussies over. Maar voor de jongsten is het toch allemaal minder uitgekristalliseerd. En dat geeft enorme kansen. Hét kenmerk van jeugd is verandering, vloeibaarheid. Ideeën als de gender-eenhoorn komen ook van jongeren. In mijn jongere genderjaren zat ik op een Usenetgroep van Australische genderjongeren (16+ neem ik aan) die al uitermate creatief waren en die riepen dat gender geen spectrum is, maar een bol. Van daaruit kom je tot een uitdijend heelal en dat klopt aardig. Het gender (en seksualiteits)heelal is nog steeds flink aan het uitdijen.

De presentatoren zijn clinici en die zijn natuurlijk voorzichtig. In de praktijk zie je dat enerzijds ouders al snel naar hun kinderen luisteren als die hun boodschap duidelijk maken, en dat kinderen steeds jonger hun onvrede duidelijk maken. Ze hebben verschillende manieren, misschien wel zoveel verschillende als er kinderen zijn. Ik wil hier niet te diep ingaan op wat ze allemaal bedenken om aandacht te krijgen voor hun issue. Mijn kennis is toch tweede of derdehands daarin. Het gaat er meer om aan te geven dat als ze de ruimte vinden, genderexpansieve kinderen vaak wel aangeven hoe ze willen zijn. En dat het verstandiger is mee te gaan daarin dan te weigeren.

Voor mijzelf concludeer ik dat als ik nu jong was geweest ik vast makkelijker in een passende rol en identiteit was gerold. Anderen had gevonden die ook zo zijn. Had me destijds aardig wat frustraties gescheeld. Maarja, andere tijden, dus ik zou ook iemand anders zijn geworden en dat is toch iets minder want ik ben best blij met mezelf.

I almost knew you, Alan

Text by Miquel Missé, translated from original at http://www.idemtv.com/es/2015/12/30/camarada-alan/

I almost know you, Alan. They had proposed me to pay you a visit, a couple of weeks ago to lift you up a bit. To tell you about the many dates when you’re a trans guy, or that the best remedy against bullying is girlfriends, or that Barcelona has a great group Jovens Trans (Trans Youth) that would shower you with kisses and would teach you the non-binary language, or that you could go see a movie some Friday in Espai Trans (Trans Space) and that you could take your mummy with you so she could have a coffee with the other volunteer-mummies of Grupo Familias Trans (Trans Family Group) in the side-room. Or that you could join an event of the big Generem (Gender) family. Or that you’d go to a concert of Viruta FtM. Many spaces you would have been welcomed warmly, where you would have felt less alone, but where you never went. Of course, if there would be anyone who could understand you, it would have been your equals, the dozens of of trans guys and girls who crowded yesterday in a manifestation to remember you. Who, just like you, ran a steeple chase to survive in school, with serious doubts if they would make it. Who invented dozens of stratagems to go unnoticed in hostile spaces, telling lies to not show our documentation. Who know of the 1001 black holes you could fall through constructing a boy identity with knowing where to start.

I almost know you, and at the same time, it is almost like I knew you.

These days many people ask how it can be that committed suicide. They raise their hands to their heads. What I think is why it doesn’t happen more often. More, the question ought to be: why shouldn’t it happen. Surely many comrades who day in day out give talks and workshops about sexual and gender diversity in hundreds of schools, share this reflection. And every day discover someone who literally survives in their class. The school bullying for having a different gender expression or identity is on a daily basis. You don’t have to take much effort to see it, in gthe squares, corridors, dressing rooms. No mystery at all. The majority of LGTB persons tell stories of discrimination during adolescence. Dozens of reports have been written to tell it still takes place, but still people are surprised. More than naivety, it is utter hypocrisy. Your death will doubtlessly bring school bullying on page one. But what I a am not clear about is if they will develop politics to transform this scenario.

Now it is easy to say #YoTambiénSoyAlan (#IAmAlsoAlan). That is what the whole world does. But it is way more difficult to be Raquel, Sara, Nico, Claudia, Paul … that are still alive. Some days they fight under the blankets not to go to school ot who seek a new school. Who resist through therapy or some pill to calm their discomfort, caused in part by many boys and girls exercising violence to show that they triumphed in reproducing the hegemonic gender roles but who in turnare also victims dresses up as executioner. Who survive with patches that only seek to readapt them as if it depended on them, hiding our collective responsibility. Having to hear every day the mantra that the environment is difficult to change and that reality is thát suffocating and the binary só engrained … Thus implanting the defeat.

But notwithstanding all that noise, Raquel, Sarta, Nico, Claudia, Paul .. are still alive.

I remember that not even a year ago, when we launched project OASIS, holiday camps for LGBT youth in Barcelona, hearing form some public administrations that the bullying wasn’t that strong. That in the end people found a way out, we shouldn’t overdramatise .. in the end. I really would have taken you with OASIS.

Let all this sadness that engulfs us these days not blind us. May this sadness return us our rage against a system to which your death is just collateral damage. Like the women we bury each month, like the fucking faggots that is painted on bathroom doors. Your death is the best example that our culture is rooted in the idea that there are only men and women, boys and girls. With opposite bodies and binary brains, polarized behaviors, heterosexual desire. Your death is the best example of a structural disaster: sexism.

When trans boys and girls won’t have to hide their identity in class, that would be a success. That they can be trans people in their school, trans colleagues of their friends, trans alumni of their teachers. Without having to guard any secret. In order to get there, that trans youth can feel safe, we need trans role models, trans culture, and much much trans pride.

Le no one believe that will be fixed by changing the names on out ID’s, nor by changing our bodies. That would help us live better.nut wouldn’t do away with the system that led you to your death. The answer lies in stop focusing on what trans people should change, and start with changing the social system that, to start with, pathologises our experience demanding a certificate of mental illness every step we take.

May your rebellious smile with which the media torture us serve to pass the lament and keep us in the struggle. May it serve to keep your memory alive with the deepest trans rage. Because a comrade is who – without getting to know them – we can know through their day to day struggles as through their great battles, share them and love them.

I almost knew you comrade Alan. But from now on we surely will not forget you.

How did we get where we are?

Text of a talk given at the MERLINKA queer film festival in Belgrade December 10, 2015

HOW DID WE GET WHERE WE ARE? INTERSECTIONAL QUEER TRANS ACTIVISM FROM A DUTCH PERSPECTIVE

I have been asked to give a talk on the progress we made in the Netherlands, on the level of LBGTI rights, and what remains to be done. I interpret this as: how did we get where we are?

That means that the first question is: where are we actually? And who is this we that are somewhere?

I argue that the we that has arrived in supposedly LGBT Valhalla, in the Netherlands, is in the end only a pretty privileged group. Although officially all their rights also apply to those excluded. I will show that a legal approach – however needed – always fall short without a focus on what society we need. It will always fall short without anti-austerity, anti-racism, anti-sexism and anti-war politics.

The rights that formally apply to everyone in the country are not in reach of everyone. If you are a trans* person of colour in the Netherlands, and in many other countries, you are supposed to have trouble with your family, and you are supposed to be of a Muslim background. Which means they will pit you either as the enemy and call slurs to deny your humanity including your being, lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans or intersex. Or they accept you happily as theirs – usually as their token trans or gay of colour – and pit you against the others who are thus even more black than before. You as a trans* person of colour however are suddenly white and semi-privileged. But only partly because you still won’t have a job because of racial discrimination. And when you complain that you have issues in your own community the white people fail to respond. Mainstream LGBT organisation COC does a good job in lobbying and capacity building for minority sexualities and also do lots of trans* political work. The trans* organisation is not capable to do it. As a mostly lobby organisation however their possibilities to garner cultural change are limited. Only under-priviliged minority groups are dong real community building now.

EQUALITY

The Dutch constitution posits all laws apply to everyone equally. Which is not self evident anymore since a couple of European countries adopted strikingly discriminating constitutional clauses.

In Serbia and Poland marriage is only between a man and a woman. Which is naive at best and will create unwillingly male mothers in same sex relationships. Women who thanks to a social life prior to their newly acquired and acknowledged gender are the fathers to their child. And fathers who, thanks to giving birth before legal gender change, also are the mothers of their child. This is a pre-queer genderfuck, unwillingly created recently by naive heteronormative lawyers. So, queering cisnormative discourse, I would incite those MP’s and lawyers to keep on doing this. They bring the world we wish of female fathers and male mothers (next to the more traditional male fathers and female mothers) closer than we could hope for.

Ah, yes. That is an issue still of course. We cannot marry. Well, actually, if we can convince our partners to stick with us, we will have de facto same sex relationships. Of course you can try to prohibit that also, but any lawyer with some sense in their brain will object to that for you endanger the stability of the legal system. So in that case also property rights for partner and children are arranged for.

HISTORY AND OURSTORY

Let me look back in time to tell you about the struggle that we had to get where “we” are, “as a country”. I love this “as a country”, as a nation state. Because it assumes and imposes a collective identity that must be created and maintained, enforced. With all mythology of what being your nationality constitutes. For Serbs you have to be strong, militaristic, war mongering, heteronormative. For the Netherlands its means being a welcoming, trading, gay and tulips loving country. I consider it one of my tasks to tear the rosy pink glasses, with which you look at my crazy country, off your nose.

In the 1960s the Netherlands also knew anti-gay fights. We still have anti-gay violence, and even more anti-trans violence. Actually “gay” did not yet really exists as an identity in the 1960s, most were homosexuals. Yes, words matter. The 1970s saw more and more homosexuals on the streets. I even walked the dogs of a homosexual or gay couple I knew through my parents (I was young and the dogs were big and strong). I was unaware of everything and gay or trans or whatever: fine with me. But homosexuals were in those days still getting conversion therapy and even electroshocks. And suicide was high, an uncle of mine took his life because of homophobia everywhere and surely also in himself.

Trans people finally got a place for medical attention in the 1970s and structurally from the 1980s. Legislation was adopted in 1985 and trans people had to undergo psychological screening, cross gender hormone therapy and genital surgery that made them infertile and preferably changed them “as far as possible” to “the other sex”. The reason why there is relatively low level of transphobic violence in the Netherlands (notwithstanding five killings in twelve years), has to do with this medicalising. We have a medical, even psychiatric condition, we cannot help it, and you are not to beat up mentally ill people. Plus we have a tradition of repressive tolerance. Also of the bad. See Black Pete. As long as you don’t scream too loud we keep it under cover. By the way, in my talk I mostly analyse. I do empathise with all struggles, also of cis straight people, but for that, and how to get forward, we have the discussion and personal talks.

In the meantime, through a tough going on, dealing and wheeling with politicians and several non-religious governments, we have won many rights, most recently the one of all-female parenthood without adoption. Until recently the second mother had to adopt her child. With men we still have issues. Gays, lesbians and bisexuals are protected under general anti-discrimination law, trans people not. Yes, partially, under the sex clause. However to think that works, is naive. Because it does not protect us, aggressors do not see us as women or men, but as freaks. So we are not yet there and in politics the idea is slowly that we have reached everything important.

WHO IS THIS WE

And that brings me to the question “who are ‘we’”? Because when we look at queer rights, trans rights, intersex rights, how effective the protection of people of color is in the Netherlands, we see a gaping abyss. Intersex people, those born with a sex variation, people whose sexed body defies our dichotomous norms that there are only male and female bodies, have NO protection against heteronormative surgeons and endocrinologists. Trans people need psychological scrutiny to concur they are of sane mind in this wish. Only then can they go to the civil registry to change names and gender. Doctors and politicians are still scared shitless of autonomous trans people who without any scrutiny change their gender ad lib. Heaven forbid the bomb under the cisheteronormative system is thicker than blood, starts infecting the majority. Then, if you are a person of color, you are to suffer doubly, both under your cultural heritage and the white cishet system. Pardon, gender dysphoria.

WHAT TO LEARN FROM ALL THIS

I think it is important to learn you need patience and a good inclusive and intersectional strategy. Inclusive of your own minorities, inclusive of people with the right ideas although they may not belong diectly to the LGBTIQ community. For the it is of utmost importance to understand and act after the adage “Nothing about us without us”. Stand with sex workers. For many of us sex work is sort of a passage rite. A period of incredible vulnerability. Talk with Romani people how they are segregated and do not get rights. Many of the trans sex workers in the Yugo region are Romani people and they are shunned by the others. So in a an even worse situation than other trans people. Talk with immigrants about their struggle, see where you can help. Where they can help us. Talk with your intersex activists. Learn how the cisgender heteronormative system works, how it screws up all of your lives. Also that of the cisgender heteronormative people themselves, because they are not in the position to experiment with other ways of living, they are caught even deeper in the Matrix. Poor straight people. I pity you. Our Utopia is polymorphous perverse world where love and sex are no commodities anymore. Where we can frolic and fuck at work – but only with consent. Our future is a stateless queer ecosocialist society. It is a long road and we will know loneliness and bombs on the road, but remember: you never fight alone. Hasta la victoria siempre, comrades!

Toch wel

Ook ik heb zat twijfel gekend. Die vage, vreemde transtwijfel. Niet zozeer of het wel wat voor mij was. Meer hoe het dan zat, en dat ik alleen maar eind van mijn twintiger jaren echt iets begon te merken. Reconstructie doet mij geloven dat dat wel meevalt (of juist tegen). Ongemak krijgt door een translens plots meer cachet. Ik geloof dat ik uiteindelijk best een redelijk klassieke trans ben geweest altijd, behalve dan dat ik altijd al een Nobi (non-binaire) ben geweest.

Een van de dingen die in elk geval altijd sterk speelden was dat ik de wereld dan wel enigszins begreep en er tegen ten strijde trok, maar wie dat dan was, die ten strijde trok? Eh, geen idee … Ik heb jarenlang de ervaring gehad vooral vanuit achter in mijn hoofd naar buiten te kijken als het ware. Of zoals iemand ooit mij karakteriseerde: Sint Joris die de draak tegemoet gaat, maar met inadequate wapenrusting. Ik zou zeggen dat er een harnas naar de draak ging. Joris was achtergebleven, was überhaupt afwezig. Een groot deel van de kinderverliefdheden hadden er zeker even veel mee te maken dat ik me diep met die meisjes associeerde, als dat ik ze leuk vond als in verliefdheid en zo. Wat men wel met “hebben of zijn” vertaalt. En daarin ben ik ook eigenlijk nooit echt eenduidig geweest. Ik val nog steeds zowel op vrouwelijke vrouwen (cis of trans) maar ook op stoerdere die ik met het “fiets- en kampeerwezen” associeer, die kunnen bouwen, vechten. En zachte mannen, lieve vriendelijke mannen. Die blijkens een recente ontdekking heus niet alleen maar glad en vrouwelijk hoeven te zijn. Je leert altijd bij. En lichamen hoeven al helemaal niet “eenduidig” te zijn, aan de cisnorm te voldoen. Zolang de persoon in kwestie er maar niet mee zit. Alles loopt door elkaar. Panta rhei, zeg maar, alles stroomt. Maar het was natuurlijk niet alleen richting anderen merkte ik dat ik anders was.

Als jonge twintiger van mannelijke kunne had ik een vreemde en vreemd sterke interesse in feminisme. Niet zozeer dat ik het raar vond dat ik in feminisme geïnteresseerd was, dat viel wel mee. Maar meer dat er in de diepte iets begon te woelen. Dat ik later als genderig heb kunnen plaatsen. En in leven en strijd was ik altijd al geïnteresseerd. Als opgroeiende puber aan de anti-atoomstroom strijd deelnemen, naar concerten van Chileense muziekgroepen als Quilapayún, Lautaro gaan, in demo’s tegen het eerste neoliberale regime meelopen … De laatste jaren snap ik pas wat ik met flikkers en flikkerstrijd had. Vond het wel leuk en spannend en soms aantrekkelijk, maar besefte ook: het gaat niet om de seksualiteit. Misschien dat ik daarom er ook vooral over las 😉

De enige ‘fout’ in dit gebeuren is geweest dat ik me als “vrouw” ben gaan zien een tijd. Of dat in elk geval heb geprobeerd. Lesbisch paste al beter (vanuit het perspectief van WIttig, insoumise). En bij gebrek aan beter ga je daar maar achteraan dan. En langzaam wijzen flikkertheorie, genderspul als Butlers performativiteit en vooral Kate Bornsteins “Gender Outlaw” de weg naar een geheel andere wereld. Die ook nog steeds de nodig investering vergt qua bewoonbaar maken. En die ‘fout’ is uiteraard geen fout: er was nog geen andere keuze en waarschijnlijk kan ik het het beste beschouwen als de ruwe vorm, die met wat verdere beitelen, zagen en vijlen deze vreer opleverde. En ja, het is heel gewoon dat de weg naar je genderbeleving via seksualiteit gaat, zeker als je alleen sensationele fotoboeken vindt van “transgenderisten” die sekswerk deden in Sydney of op de Reeperbahn in Hamburg. Of lijpe psychiatrische theorieën. Ideeën over wat tegenwoordig “genderqueer” heet, werden in de jaren 1990 voor het eerst gekneed en met trans* gecombineerd. maar hier te lande moesten we wachten tot de eerste transgenderfilmfestivals in Amsterdam (vanaf eind 2001) tot er een grotere vonk zou overslaan.

Maar het begon dus al veel eerder. Ook zonder expliciet pesten meed ik de gegenderde wc’s op school nogal eens en voelde ik me in gezelschap van leeftijdsgenoten vaak heel ongemakkelijk. Van de lagere school herinner ik niet zo veel, behalve dat ik slap was en vooral dol op leren. De meeste puberteits- en adolescentieproblemen waren meer dan gewoon die van een getormenteerde puber. Ik herkende me ook in niemand, had geen voorbeelden. Dus modderde voort met de moed der hoop. Ik ben op een “reis” waarin ik veel dingen van vroeger opnieuw bezie en herinterpreteer, ontdek dat ze vaak wel degelijk een link hadden met gender.

Fascinating, die reis.

The Right to Life for Trans* Persons, and Why Normal is Boring

Guest post on darafhoffmanfox.com

I have been asked by Dara Hoffman-Fox to write a piece for her site as a genderqueer gender educator and human rights advocate for the rights of trans* and inter* people. And I gladly comply with her request.

[Before I continue, a short orthographic notice: I write “trans*” and “inter*” without meaning to refer to a footnote, but the asterisk implies the vastness of trans and inter(sex/gender) identities and expressions.]

Dara’s eyes fell on this part of the vision page on my professional website:

We aim to break through (apart?) stereotypes around gender, gender identities and gender expressions. This goes for both trans people and non-trans people. The cisgendered (i.e. non-trans) are also entitled to be free from stereotypes about their way of life. We do this through gender education.

This Thursday trans* people and friends, partners, allies all over the world will pay attention to Transgender Day of Remembrance. This day started 16 years ago in a reaction to the murder of Rita Hester from Allston, MA.

As still is the case in the United States (10 killings this year), and in Brazil (the country with again the highest count of trans* murders with 113 this year) most victims of murders are black trans* women of African-African heritage, which makes this, apart from a gender issue, also a race and class issue.

Transgender Europe’s Trans Murder Monitoring project counted 226 killings worldwide this year only. Since the start of the project in 2008 we have counted 1,612 murders against trans* people. The Americas are the most dangerous place to live for trans people, surely for trans* people of color. This year 176 killings, with high proportions for tiny countries as Honduras (10 people). But also the Netherlands knows a trans related killing this year.

For trans* people, nowhere is really safe.

The Western societies we live in and its influence sphere have a political and economic system that systematically favors white (middle and upper class) heterosexual cisgender men. All cis men in the end. But also cis women. Think of the incident in the Baltimore McDonald’s where a trans woman was heavily attacked by a group of cis girls.

Women, cis or trans or intersex suffer under this patriarchal system. We trans* and gender-non conforming people are the first ones cis male anger is taken out at. That is criminal and against all human rights, amongst which the most basic one: The right to life. The system creates specific forms of masculinity and femininity and thinks trans* people have no place in that.

There are, however, possibilities to make life for trans* people easier. On the legal front slowly we are getting to possibilities for gender recognition without the need for medical intervention. And several health clinics over the States provide services to trans* people without the need of a pathologizing mental health diagnosis of “Gender Identity Disorder” (DSM-IV and ICD-10) or “Gender Dysphoria” (DSM-5). Health centers like of Callen-Lorde in New York City, or Howard Brown in Chicago, or Tom Waddell in San Francisco.

As trans* people we are very often frowned upon and people have absolutely no clue about us, our lives, our joys and our issues. Helped by crazy sensational TV programs or impertinent questions by many other talk show hosts we are the gender weirdos. Living la vida loca. Prejudice and lack of knowledge. If we could, we would for sure. Even for well off trans people life isn’t ideal.

And as a non-binary trans person (a “Nobi,” as I call it) I have more and more trouble in understanding all those normatively gendered people. Personally I have lost my gender ages ago and I am not really inclined in finding it again. I am a happy multiple/multi-gender.

On good days I can be fascinated by how the “normal” people do. Gender stereotypes – the way most “men” or “women” behave – are fascinating. If you’re not confronted by them. If the normatively gendered people don’t bother you for going to the wrong bathroom or looking too male for a woman, being too much a sissy for a “Real Man.”

I guess my being different makes me great for educating people on gender diversity. I see all those weird gender expressions by the majority of people and can explain our “weirdness” to the normal people. Because gender stereotypes are nasty things everybody suffers from. Even – and mostly – for those enforcing them. Because they miss out a whole lot of opportunities for more (gender) freedom. Sometimes I feel so sorry for them. Not sure they care, but still.

Cis and trans* women know quite well what it is to live under gender stereotypes. Cis women are to marry and take care of the kids. Sexual and reproductive autonomy is not accepted. Of course there are lovely cis men (even straight ones!). Only, in the morals of power, women’s autonomy is heavily fought over. Abortion clinic after clinic is forced to close, because the idea that a woman has a choice over her pregnancy is anathema.

Many times trans* people will have to comply to a similar moral scrutiny and only if you are “really” a woman and thus willing to sacrifice your fertility then you are allowed to change the gender marker on your birth certificate and their ID papers.

So yes, surely trans* people actively suffer under gender stereotypes and we shouldn’t. The situation is partially better with you in the USA, partially way worse. Not that The Netherlands or Western-Europe for that part is even remotely near trans* heaven. Trans* utopia is nowhere, not even in Argentina with its great legislation.

I feel a bit sorry for complaining so much, instead of immediately bringing you the Gleeful Gender Gospel. There is so much trouble and it so strongly interconnected, that I have to pay attention to it.

But as I say, the non-standard life, being gender non-conforming can be great. And the good news to the cis people over here is: you don’t have to become trans*. Usually I really advocate for people to become trans, to really change their gender identity and gender expression from the one belonging to the gender they have been assigned a birth to something completely different. It can be a great time. Like the book Dick For a Day in which the (female) authors fantasize what they would do if they had one.

But you don’t have to. Secretly we are pretty happy to be exceptional, to be “living la gender loca,” so to say.

In my workshops I dissect the working of gender norms, how they are very productive in enabling only certain gender roles and identities and how others are then violently or friendly.

Dear cis people, open up, be straight but not narrow. Really, being a soft open-minded man who understands his own feelings and that of others, who can deal with emotions in a sensible way, is more an asset to a better world and to better relationships than you may think.

You have got nothing to lose but your gender chains.

People (sensible people at least) will love you. Prissy peers may not, they may try to keep you inside the snake pit, but that has to do with your leaving the group, breaking group discipline or doing what they don’t dare to do. The problem with group culture often is that it only works with group discipline. Find yourself a best friend, of whatever gender, to support you.

You don’t have to become trans* to change your gender. Look at the Gender Identity Map from the Impact Project. There are so many possibilities for gender identity and expressions…No need to stick with what you learned in school or from your peers.

There is life out there. Don’t despair.

My biggest complaint around standard gender expressions and people living them is that it is so utterly boring. Who the hell wants to be a healthy, organic whole when you can be a brilliant, injured fragment, after all. This whole investment in wholeness, the whole expectation of living neatly in boxes (even round ones) so doesn’t comply with my jumpiness. I consider it so unhealthy.

Yes, I can associate healthiness etc. in a positive sense. Of course. But not default lives. Default lives are – on the political level – bad and dangerous. They are responsible for the zillions of trans related killings. Fitting in is unhealthy. But falling out may be dangerous.

The forces of normality are strong, the need to find your own way is bigger.

So here’s to the crazy ones, with their shiny gender and their sparkling identities. May we live long and prosper. With lovely, friendly cis people who love us dearly and don’t invest so much in being “normal.”

Author Bio

From the perspective that there are more than two sexes and more than two genders, that being trans or gender-non conforming is diversity instead of an aberration, Vreer Verkerke of Vreerwerk does gender education and human rights education with students, sex educators, lawyers, politicians in The Netherlands and beyond.

vreer

18/12/2013

Today I am happy. Because at one o’clock tonight the Dutch transgender legislation on the change of gender marker got accepted. No medical intervention needed any more. A big step towards depathologisation. Change of gender marker through the civil registry by handing over a letter by a psychologist that confirms your qualitative consent. That you know what you are doing.

There remains enough to improve also within the margins of this law, but for today am happy.